Which came first - discrimination against women in pay and power or women's own failure to negotiate the pay and power we deserve? If you ask this question of most business women today, they'll say discrimination came first.
But if they've been paying attention to press coverage about the social science on women and negotiation, they're likely to blame themselves for failing to achieve as much as their male counterparts.
I'm afraid to negotiate, they'll say. And when I do negotiate, I'm more likely to get blowback than a raise. What I'm supposed to do is negotiate nicely, to be relentlessly pleasant, to use we and not me language so that I'm not crossing gender boundaries.
As someone who makes part of my living teaching women to negotiate, I obviously believe we can reach wage and income parity more quickly if we ask for what we deserve and learn the bargaining skills necessary to get what we ask for. But I'm pretty well fed up with the "gender boundary" advice.
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